As my last official duty before retirement, I was detailed to serve as Casualty Notification Officer in Greater Dallas, Fort Worth. (Groan).  Prior to “the call” at midnight, I was thoroughly unprepared for the responsibility (or, so I thought).   Fortunately, I located a compassionate Navy Reserve Chaplain to accompany me and help navigate to the several close relatives’ addresses.  In each case there was shock, denial, and grief.  Upon seeing us drive-up in uniform, mothers and stepmothers shrieked for us to go away; sisters dashed-away down the street; brothers even wanted to fight us; the burly Fire Chief (father) just crumpled to the ground in tears in his Station House.  Clearly, the official and personal notification helped loved-ones accept the shock of grim reality. I hated that duty, but also felt powerful responsibility for managing details with kindness and compassion for each of the family members.   Although not required, I later attended the service where each of the  older brothers spoke, as did the widow (though divorce had been in-progress).  Throughout, I avoided disclosure of the tragic details about the Airman’s death.  Not a single family member was confronted by the Airman’s apparent suicide near Vandenburg AFB cliffs.  Certainly, it was best that way.

Military casualties of any type are tragic; especially during wartime.  Public disposition has changed since the ‘60s, of course.   Contrast the casualty numbers from Iraq (tens per week) versus those from Vietnam (hundreds in some weeks).  Today, servicemen are publicly applauded and revered with respectful gratitude.  They are often moved into First Class seats when boarding airlines.  This is quite different from the treatment of soldiers during the Vietnam War when we began our military careers.  (I lost some very close friends/mentors who were shot down during that conflict, neighbors from when I was growing-up… was it needless in the end?)  This Middle East conflict is not a "popular war" either, but citizens seem to view our soldiers in a different light today.  Apparently, servicemen are not held so directly accountable for prolonging this particular war.  More clearly now, that responsibility rests on the shoulders of elected officials (politicians)… as it certainly should.